CoQUeTtiShNaNa

a tragic episode

2009-09-17T23:29:00.003+08:00

based on personal experience.

as i was about to look at myself in the mirror, something flew past me. i quickly grabbed my towel. and screamed. its a roach. i abhor roaches for life. everytime i see a roach crawling anywhere near me, i would question God, "why did You create this disgusting insect?". mamemo came in, shouting at me to kill it but i couldn't bring myself to kill it. seriously. i could do any other dare that doesn't involve roaches. you can ask me to poke myself with a knife or jump from a height of 10m or more into a pool, i'm able to do so. but roaches are the ultimate weakest link ar. so now it is still kicking its leg in the toilet, half dead. half killed by mamemo.

point of my story: i'm a loser at killing insects. unless using my slipper or a roll of newspaper. i am sadistic but i hate roaches till eternity. and i can't bring myself to kill one.

lesson of the day: don't bathe aft 10pm.

words?

2009-09-17T04:34:00.003+08:00

i've been too busy having fun to take note of every iftar i had. so yesterday i had the last iftar for this month. and it is the nicest closure ever. last year was kinda bad for me but this year was the best ever.

i really dread leaving this holy month. i shall look forward for this same month next year. fasting isn't all bad. it just tightens everything that hadn't got hold the months before.

i love each and everyone of whom i call friend.

didn't win that sash but got nominated instead. lol.

sidetrack: i got a burnt thumb. very pain. huhu~ abit bloated.

i still do miss you. but its hiding in a small lil corner of my heart.

the angst

2009-09-14T05:33:00.004+08:00

on this fateful morning, i can't seem to hold my anger anymore.

days before, i got news from someone that she wrote in her private space about me saying how cowardly it is to fight in cyberworld. i have an opinion and u despised it. so what? i already said in that post i don't fcking care what you think of me. don't bloody act as if you are not affected by the posts that are indirectly meant for you. you don't have the guts to voice out about your unhappiness then thrash it out in your private space about me. suda lar. method sec school sak. bdk sec school skrg pon da pandai confront ar.

suda lar. kau ade otak, kau letak pat museum pon cantik ar. kasi orang lain tgk betapa fresh nah otak tu pasal tk digunakan at all. perbezaan antara berok ngan manusia, adalah otak yang boleh berfungsi. you are no different from the berok.

stop acting anymore. i don't bother putting up a face to just make things better. i don't bother acting. cause i know i won't win any award here. i don't need sympathy from anyone cause i can stand up for myself. people know what's right and wrong. you can tell one thousand and one kind of stories to anyone. but i will stick to one cause i know that's where the truth lies. you are just a pack of lies and walking jokebook which i just don't get it.

hiatus w/o me knowing.

2009-09-10T16:30:00.003+08:00

it's been a long time since my last update.

random facts:

9 more days to raya. happy yet sad.
i haven't been to Gay-lang within this few weeks. lom dpt dendeng oi!
i miss my friends already even though i just met them yesterday. 090909 indeed is a happy day for me.
i'm angry at mamemo for waking me up like orang giler. screaming is such a bad start to the noon.
mamemo don't wana go to JB cause she scared of the congestion. binget sia. klau bulan puaser, tk ker JB mcm tk lengkap siaaaaaa.
next week is the last few iftars i gonna have with the frens. i hope all is fine.
my body is aching all over cause i havent got enough sleep for the past few days.
my face is very pale due to not enough sleep.
i feel like shitting right now but pantat nie malas nk gerak.
i think the whole mcc know about IT.

i haven't been updating much here cause i have another space for me to rant. shall tell you all about it soon ok.

caught in awe

2009-08-30T20:50:00.003+08:00

i'm getting something that i don't even dare to wish for.

Syukur Alhamdulilah (All praise to Allah).

edited: HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY MAMEMO. no matter how irritating you are, nobody can replace a mother.

its ur birthday.

2009-08-27T03:00:00.002+08:00

someone turned 19 today. and its Norshahila Md Sarip (basically known as the twin)! yes. happy 19th birthday bitch! we are both old right now. have a fun day with The Man. haha. see ya soon :)

what should i get u for ur bday ar. i shall discuss that with jane.

bleargh~

2009-08-23T02:19:00.002+08:00

its already nearly 2.30 am and i'm still awake here. still online. not sleepy either. gosh my life is getting so mudane. i used to find it kinda rushing and filled up with stuffs. but now as i wanted to just lie back and watch the world passes me by, i find it sooo boring.

main point is that, I NEED A JOB. pfft. i'm not used to not working. its just so not me. but i'm to fucking lazy to find a job to fill up my days.

i need new friends. i'm getting out of things to talk about to my friends. ya, kill me for that.

omg i needa sleep now cause i have to be awake for sahur at 5 am. then maybe i can read a book to start with.

urgh! cant take it. shall disturb my cat and im off to sleep.

pictures!

2009-08-21T22:33:00.002+08:00

my cat is soooo fat that i feel like rolling it into a sausage roll!GERRAAAAAAM JER.

my dressing table. 4 stash of fake eyelashes. 2 have yet to be worn. huhu~

shall give a proper update about my mini picnic cause the pics sooo nice. me likey!

we were restless while waiting for the shuttle bus. as the bus came, we felt safe. it felt as if we were stranded on a deserted island lor. reached the place, getting dark. found a spot. passing rain clouds. got wet abit then everything went fine. filled our stomach with my mamemo's mi goreng, jane's brownies and sha's chips. decided to make a move after all cause we kinda find the place boring. so yea, we went to Marina Sq. it feels nice to be back into a "modern" world.

picha time!

my fringe spoiler but i like the focus here.

this image soo inspiring sia. HAHAH!

had the craving for ice cream so we had one each at Anderson's.

ok enjoy the pics? i'm off to bathe now.

on a note: most of the pics i have are uploaded on multiply already. MULTIPLY FTW! FACEBOOK SUCKS!!!!!!!!

a lesson learnt

2009-08-21T02:33:00.005+08:00

this post i'm gonna write up about is solely from my own opinion, having no intention to hurt anyone or sindir anyone. no names will be mention. who eat the chilli, u feel the spicy lar eh(direct translation from malay).

to me, fighting in cyberspace is the most coward-est thing a person would resort to. its like deep inside, you wanna verbally scold that person but you don't have the guts to do so. so you would resort to cyberspace as you wanna "rant" it out on your so-not-personal space. thinking that the other party would not see it, the more you would "rant". but eventually another deep corner inside of you wants the other party to find out and react to this. in the end, the other party finds out and react to it, and you couldn't face the reaction.

all of that is happening and it is getting on our own nerves. we just tried to keep quiet but its getting too much.

you are obviously hanging your dirty laundry publicly with your personal writing space. you kept saying that you're gonna shut up but why ain't you doing so? why are you writing things that are reflecting the anger you had then deleting them after publicizing them? what's your purpose? you said your parents have taught you well, but all we see is otherwise. don't say things that will backfire on you someday. you know karma is all around but why can't you just keep mum and let fate settle things for both of you? why must anger each other over a thing you said have been settled?

whatever it is, have a clean break whenever you need to. don't leave things hanging cause it will eventually lead to worst consequences that both of you cant face. there is no winner or loser in a break up. EVERYONE IS A LOSER!

before sindir-ing people, take a minute. reflect on yourself. stop pushing the blame on others. the leaves won't move if there is no wind.

sorry for this random post. whoever is hurt by this post, tell yourself GO AND DIE. i don't give a fuck about what you think about me. if you're still unhappy, call me. settle it with me. aku berani tanggong lar.

ok aside from that serious part of this post.

I HAD A FUN FRUITFUL WEEK! wohohoo. its been hectic. from seoul garden with the girls, shopping with mom and a small mini teeny tiny picnic with my friends. we never fail to have fun and finally i shall a rest before fasting commence.

so as fasting month is nearing, i shall keep myself cleanse by not gossiping too much, spouting vulgarities and watching less tv series. cause most of my tv series consist of vulgarities and sex scene.

kiter hidop, mesti minda terbuka kan. sempit sgt, org kutok.

random

2009-08-19T23:15:00.003+08:00

i have my shopping bags beside me left untouched since just now. i'm sungguh the lazy ttm lar.

went shopping with mom. fun as per usual. cause you won't be forking out anything unless u want to. mamemo can finally be happy cause she got her long wanted bag. i loooooove the receipt. soo high class like that. got myself a bag and perfume. wohohooo~ ya. perfume still in the shopping bag, beside me now. can smell it. me likey!

some random pictures now.

while we were waiting for our presentation. we hate the lecturers. as normal as we are, we start taking photos that consist them being consumed by us.

ok good night people!

FYI: hairband is not copying anyone alive or dead. my fringe is getting irritating. so i need something to hold it up.

the weekends are ending

2009-08-09T00:55:00.001+08:00

a happy 44th birthday, Singapore. no matter how much i hate you, i'm still here.

hijab

2009-08-08T20:51:00.003+08:00

watched this movie earlier today. cried at some of the parts. its the most touching movie i ever watched.

its absolutely a nice family movie. no lovey dovey. but you can see how mannered she lust to satisfy the newly married husband. i cried at how patient and loving the 2nd husband.

i was watching it on dvd when the ending of the movie got totally retarded. i fell asleep as i was too pissed off to solve the problem. woke up by my mamemo irritating me to order pizza for the family. my sister really canot harap ar. so back to the story. i decided to search for the pictures online to blog about lar. then suddenly come out the videos of this movie. so i watched the ending on youtube. berguna jgak utube nie.

yeah. so for those who are interested, watch in on youtube. and their theme song is by Siti Nurhaliza. kinda nice but there is sure better singers in Indonesia right. why must choose Siti of all singers. tsk!

she is often clad in the Hijab. kinda rare for her to take it off in the movie. this movie also features the living state of a good pesantren(a religious home in Indonesia). thinking about the religious essence of this movie just moved me to tears. touching ttm.

less than 4 days of attachment. how fast is that? and we have yet to get presents for them before leaving. and i feel like replying "fuck you" when the lecturer asked for the reports. knn, only now wana contact us.

to shut or not to shut?

2009-08-04T20:24:00.005+08:00

procrastination.

the number one word in my list right now.

i should start on my final report but i keep pushing it away. bleargh.

we are only left with less than 6 days till we can say goodbye. after the dinner, i felt like that is the last i will see of them but that's just a dream.

after what happened, i felt that i am ready to say goodbye. yes, i am ready for a CHANGE. i am back to being a kid i am in school. and have my well deserved holidays. after that fucking presentation and report. !@$@#%$^#%&$^*^$%*@#$%@!$#!@. if only attachment is marked on a one time speech, i could totally ace it.

2009-08-02T01:20:00.001+08:00

a happy birthday to me indeed.

belated "celebration" from the parents. and of course belated birthday presents.

now i'm feeling fucking pressurized. after i got some news from the parents. urghzxzxzxzxz!

i lost touch with the blogging world then. cause i can't seem to blog properly.

lost

2009-07-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling very lost right now.

i've lost touch with the world.

i don't know what i should be feeling right now.

having a very bad dry cough which is irritating the hell outta me.

running a temperature.(maybe)

2 weeks. and that will be soooo long suckaaaaaa!

yours truly

2009-07-29T22:42:00.003+08:00

life is getting too complicated by each second and i'm tired of trying to initiate things. people just took advantage.

for now, i'm going to be careful and trying to heal my hurt self. i know every thought of it is torturing one self. but without this scar, you wouldn't know that you had survived a rough patch once in your life.

find it & treasure it. i havent find mine.

why are things getting weird by the time we are leaving. on a good note, it makes the parting easier. but i'm gonna miss ya lil boy.

happy belated birthday to me

2009-07-26T23:18:00.002+08:00

this is how i celebrated the day i turned 19.

THANKS GIRLS FOR THE "PRESENT"! and not-so-surprise surprise.

walking one whole round to get to the place.

the tickets! dark blue sector is where we got!

not so good seats. thanks Irm's for spending your Sat with me! & u suck at surprises! HAHAH!

its a damn tough job to surprise me. truly. haha. well, at least i'm happy to see them(the people who are involved in NDP). & truly sad that i didn't manage to lepak with them.

shall upload the pics somewhere. cause the pics are incredibly nice on that day.

why?

2009-07-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

today is my birthday. today is not my day. FML.

pissed off.

2009-07-22T21:06:00.002+08:00

sorry to pop your bubble, but i dont bother knowing whats happening and what is making you sick. stop using such scientific terms. cause i DON'T BLOODY CARE.

pfft. i'm soo temperamental sia.

today isn't my day cause the people(or maybe PS) kept teasing me the wholeeeeee day. seriously finding every fault and i kept whining the whole day cause the keychain i got from Kinder Joy is lost. like i was mourning the whole day. i know that keychain is like damn new. but that's my childhood lor. and its of my favourite colour siaaaaaaaaaa. another uncle suggested in getting a new one. i know its not expensive but its the luck of getting it in the colour i like.

bleargh~ feel so freaking awful and lethargic right now. tired of arguing with PS.

2009-07-21T23:38:00.002+08:00

random: maybe i should write things on cardboard pieces as my workplace has tons of them.

work is getting the best of my feet. now all the green veins on my feet are popping out and its kinda painful to walk now. urgh!

feelings.

2009-07-21T22:28:00.001+08:00

this weekend gonna be hectic. wohoooo! finally got plans liaozxzxzxzxz.

i have to be positive. i have been a crybaby these 2 days. effeeeeers.

angst.

2009-07-20T23:06:00.002+08:00

I AM SOO FREAKING PISSED OFF AT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING SO MUCH THAT I FEEL LIKE SMASHING MY LAPTOP. I REGRETTED GOING ONLINE CAUSE I FOUND OUT THINGS THAT IS SOOOOOOOOO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING AND ANGER ME SOO MUCH THAT I GAVE A RUDE REPLY TO MY LECTURER CONCERNING A SURVEY THAT I HAVE ALREADY DONE. MIND YOU, I DONE IT ALREADY FUCKING LECTURERS. CANT U FREAKING REFRESH THE SYSTEM AND GET THE RIGHT NAMES TO DO THE FUCKING SURVEY. ITS A FUCKING SURVEY. WHO THE HELL IN THE WORLD IS FORCED TO DO A SURVEY. OMG, THIS EDUCATION SYSTEM IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING STUPID!

EVERYTHING IS GOING ALL HAYWIRE. AND I'M FROWNING DAMN BADLY. I CAN FEEL IT.

(calmed myself down by watching episodes of 16 & Pregnant on mtv.com)

two more weeks of dear July

2009-07-19T22:41:00.002+08:00

300+++ photos to be uploaded. pelan2 kayuh lar eh.

from "kak"-idah-tak-pakai-eyeshadow to serigala, this day ended with a good note.

sorry to whoever that finds me iritatting the whole day as i was fully truly hyper ttm.

a proper update next time. won't promise about that.

back on track

2009-07-18T15:04:00.002+08:00

tag replies:

-shahzan: there's nth fun to post abt.

-FEEQAH: we typed with alphabets cause its more interesting, u noe. making you all guess and ur guesses may not be correct. muahahah. so happy guessing.

-amz: smgt per bacer sumer. hahha. agos2. boobs war ape kebende saaak???

-N: haha. u seloooooow lar.

-jane: totaaaaaalsssssssss!!!we totally have jumping shots instead of the stand and smile kinda shots. we will be making fun of ourselves. stand & smile photos are for ooooh soooooo boring people...*yawns*

-E.D, yanti & atiqa: aku pon rindu korg korg korg :( lets seraaaaang seoul gardennn!!! da laamer tau aku teringin nk mkn seoul garden tapi tkde org yg nk fulfil that wish for me. huhu~

-amz: insyaAllah soon.

so basically im very much alive. been busy having fun that is. my bday is in a week's time. and i have no plans or no interest to plan anything for it. cause when i plan, that means money would be spent. so im broke like hell. i already missed work twice this month. that means 40 bucks lesser for next pay. haaaaaish x infinity. next pay is gonna be spent on buying things for my fellow colleagues. saddening.

off to get ready for perang woooooor~

care & share

2009-07-14T21:55:00.004+08:00

credits to 'epiphany @ deviantart.com

"when the people you love have stopped nagging, that's when they've stopped caring."

something random that have been ringing again & again in my head.

random cravings

2009-07-13T22:21:00.001+08:00

geng! biler mau pegi Seoul Garden?????

finally.

2009-07-13T00:56:00.002+08:00

finally i got to catch the movie - Transformers, Revenge of The Fallen on my laptop. my dad bought the DVD lar. i wana catch it in the cinemas but then was too busy and kinda expensive so dropped the idea.

watching the soundtrack on youtube right now. thinking whether i should download it or not cause i think it will be a one time hit for me. i felt like a geek nearly ~~crying~~ tearing at the part where Optimus Prime revived. fave part dokkkkk. and i love the twins! and of course my forever love for Bumble Bee.

its already 1 am and i'm still up. i better catch some sleep. there's nothing fun to post as my life is mundane like that. what filled my life these few days is training, work and family. friends are filled in between too. and guess what, competition is on this coming Sunday. fast or what. and percussion has yet to be prepared. urgh! gonna have a panic attack soon.

on a note: 5 more weeks to end of attachment? the moment that i have anticipated long ago seems too near. i should start making myself distant from people there. the thought of leaving that place is making me feel kinda sad. i know, that's human.

double trouble.

touched.

2009-07-09T23:58:00.002+08:00

i miss my........tutor.

i saw pics of her with her undergraduate daughter. i always love it when it comes to tuition cause its like destressing whenever i come over. total awesome-ness. plus, its like a social circle you know. get to know a lot of people there. and most of the times, i would be gossiping with my tutor.

the past few weeks, i saw her on the bus but we didn't talk much as its in the morning. and my face like tapai basi. so i just salam-ed her. i feel like hugging her on the spot lar. but confirm people think crazy ar.

sidetrack: all the graduation photos so boring sia. like totally with boring people. i don't see myself in that situation except that i'm gonna take awesome graduation photos with people as crazy as S & J lar! we won't be those kind where you would stand-and-smile photos. we would totally make faces. now i can't wait to graduate!

ok back on track, whatever it is, i always question myself why did i drift apart from someone.

a glance.

2009-07-05T22:39:00.003+08:00

i saw Him. SA. he smiled at me. i couldn't remember at 1st but slowly it made sense. its him, all right. i thought i could see you as i alight. but how wrong i was. he did alight but he went on to another train. did he try to catch up and acknowledge me before he got on? or did he even try to find my number on his cell? or he didn't try at all?

SA, once again, you become a thing of the past.

i love my fat cat.

2009-07-04T18:14:00.004+08:00

"cahaya di mata mu membuat diri ku sayang kepada mu.
melebihi segala yang telah ku sanjung dan aku sayangi."

kimek. dangdut is playing at my void deck. ye lar. orang buat majlis kahwin lar kan. and i don't bother asking mom whose wedding is it. omg another song is playing. all the songs are familiar. zomg, i just remembered, my father owned the same vcd lar sia! 100% Singapura if i'm not wrong.

so whats the point of this post? idk. i just felt like typing a snippet of that dangdut song. dangdut just make u tink of old pervetic guys that tak sedar diri right. i know. i always imagine that. i even named a jacket found at work, jacket pakcik dangdut.

ini dia si gemok. gemok macam tuan dier jugak.

I & S, i wana go on the swing again pls. i wana swing high and disappear into the sky. if only i could do that.

facebook.

2009-07-04T01:11:00.002+08:00

before i was going to sleep.

What is the best thing about 20? (melly)
i knew her since i was 8 and she brightens up all the adiratna trainings when i get bored and sick of knocking on my gong canang and i can talk to her about anything at all and she knows things about people so its fun to gossip with her and her laughter is so amazing and sincere and it makes you verrrrry happy and i seem to be rambling right about now.

that's a question from a note on facebook which Siti Fatimah aka Fat answered. isn't she just the sweetest thing! that totally boost me up. wo ai ni worxzxzxzxz. *muahhhhh*

on a note: thanks to those who cheered me up after the failure. i just have to show my unhappiness. and i felt bad by showing my black face. so so sorry. Thanks S, Z, M, E, F and I.

FAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL

2009-07-04T00:30:00.002+08:00

to whoever who wana ask THE question.

the answer is I FAIL. f ar. i'm actually ok with it.

i already hope for next week

2009-06-30T21:57:00.003+08:00

i wana wear heels. pfft~

currently hooked to La Roux songs. i left my iSaac at work. double pfft~

its already monday!urgh!

2009-06-29T00:34:00.002+08:00

my weekends were packed as usual. just that i have a slack saturday. maybe i should just tone down on my wild exciting life, NOT. hahaha.

went for the gathering at Botanics. i was contemplating on it as i couldn't wake up in the morning. seriously, i kept sleeping when Irm's already out of the house. i was supposed to meet her lar, but eventually we met at Far East before heading to Botanics. had fun as i've let loose. was abit grouchy but try not to let it out. ate ALOT. LIKE TONS OF RUBBISH INSIDE OF ME ALREADY. needa drink slimming tea liao. ya, i hate the fact that my appetite is back. that means i'm growing fatter than i already am. slacked at Starbucks before heading home. nearly lost my phone. but the guy who found my phone is clever enough to call the last called name on my list. luckily it was Dek. its all fate. i don't really mind my phone being stolen or whatever shizz, i just want the sim card. i'm too lazy to collect my contacts again. at least i could get a new phone. wohooo~ but i got my phone back afterall. now my headphone is dying. urgh! lepas satu, satu sak. i don't wana use earphones. cause of my piercing lor. troublesomeeeeeeeee.

yay. now i can be back to my princessy self at home. weeee~ can manja2 liao. and be a lazy ass.

pics will be uploaded at my own convenience.

yayness!

2009-06-27T19:55:00.003+08:00

i wana have nice boots to go out with. like Doc Martens? lookalike maybe. Timbaland may do. but my legs look exactly like elephant's. haissssssssssssssssh. cannot make it lar. let it be a dream.

familia is back liaozzxzxzxzxzxzxzx!!!*do the boogey dance around the house* hugged mom at the airport, nearly cried sia. and i nearly got lost at airport. i knowwwww. i'm a noob of the east lar. or maybe everywhere. 1st thing i did to my sis, is to tease her. nyehehehehe~

as familia is back, my miang cat also comes back to stay at home and start her manja-ness. tak leh angzzzzzzz. mintak kene sepak. she keep doing that thing with her paws, n its painful ok. but me likeeeee.

see lar. her eyes already droopy, still wana ask for food. like a cat on drugs.

the king of pop.

2009-06-27T00:56:00.003+08:00

was kinda shocked to receive news on the tvmobile airing that Micheal Jackson died.

i'm not really obsessed with MJ. but he is someone whom everyone would have idolize at any point of their life. i've been a fan of his since young. i think his songs are the 1st that i karaoke-d to other than dangdut songs. (don't judge me for this)

Sha was grieving over his death for half the day. by the end of the day, we started singing his songs. which is totally awesome. his songs are sooooooo evergreen and never overrated.

my fave song: BILLY JEAN. i can totally grooove to it.

R.I.P MJ. 1958-2009. he's older than my mom. wokey. that is something i would remember.

one question in my mind. will he buried or cremated?

one more day!!!!!

2009-06-25T17:30:00.002+08:00

of freedom.

what shall i do with a blue bow headband?

i missed work today. i woke up as per normal and my body so the lazy so i msg-ed Sha that im not coming to work. then i msg-ed my "head" too. saying i had sore eyes. penipu haram tol.

i woke up 3.30pm. not feeling refreshed. HAHAH!

done with laundry. fed my cat with some other stray cats downstairs. now left with sweeping the house. urgh! sooooo the lazy.

in one week's time.

2009-06-22T20:42:00.004+08:00

so its the start of the week. and my mood was average today minus the sleepy me as i only had less than an hour sleep the night before. my dark rings are bad ttm lar. i was kinda shocked looking at the dark rings. i hesitated on going to work cause i'm damn tired and i wana spend more time with my sidekicks. we didn't take group pic! even if you all did, i was not in the pic :(

btw thanks to S, i got to work earlier than i should. sayang ko many2!

saturday was a day where i spent the day at "Johor". walked around and settled our brunch at Ramen Ten. i loooove seeing my young cousins once again but i was kinda cranky that day that i didn't entertain the dimple boy. so normal stuffs, took pics. slept over at their place and woke up early next morning as we went prawning. urgh! its boring ttm lar. cause i suck at catching this creature. and i hate it that its sooooo stubborn. i know lar which stupid creature would surrender itself right but within that 2.5 hours, we only got 5 prawns. how pathetic it is, you tell me! ok lar the prawn was kinda big. i didnt get to taste it as we brought it home and i headed home before the prawns are cooked. i hate wriggling creatures and i hate its eyes! cause it look so sad when i have to twist its spincer. sad you know. i felt so cruel at that point of time.

sunday came, met the rest at school after parting ways with my aunt at Clementi to settle our dinner. lazy to elaborate any further but everything is just great with the company of awesome people. don't forget they're crazy sick ass people too. scaring each other with ghost stories and ending up walking at 2.30 in the morning around school, scaring the guard at the next door camp. /ed we had durians! totally awesome-nesss!!! thank you parents of Eera Darlynke. //ed

being online is so boring nowadays as not much people to chat with. i lost my sense of social etiquette. why do i have to initiate things?

everyday as i walked home, i wished that my family members are back at home.

time really fly.

2009-06-20T01:14:00.002+08:00

i'm finally accepting the fact that you cant be mine.

i'm nursing the pain on my right ankle. i fell at work once again within 2 months. urgh! usually people would have a pain on the outer side of the ankle, but mine is the inner. idk what to do lar.

i want my family back. seriously. i'm kinda tired living this independent life. tiring you know. laundry, thinking of what food to be bought, time for yourself and friends. alot of things on my mind lar. luckily i'm single lar hor. if got bf, confirm must spend more time with him cause he's the closest person next to family. balancing everything with so little time is so hard.

so tomorrow(or later) i will be heading to Tampines. like going Johore sak. to spend time with my relatives. i hope they dont get a shock of their life looking at me. i'm scared to face them cause they're the pious side.

i wana find accesories like a black string of necklaces, black bracelets or bangles and many more black rings.

on a random note: i cant freaking hula.

going to day 4.

2009-06-17T23:52:00.002+08:00

another friend of mine have her own vechicle liao! zomg. i feel old that almost all of us are getting our respective licenses, bike or car, or maybe both.

so midweek end on a good note at least. surviving quite well with independent life. and i'm always thinking of the next step when i'm on my way home. macam mak-mak (direct translation: like mother mother).

i feel so tired lor. i want my long awaited holidays. it would be 2 months till that happen. urgh!

as planned, the girls came over my house to chillax and share stories and maybe settle my dinner. which is awesome! making fun of the thriller "Jangan Tegor". some are still afraid of it, but the whole time we were laughing at stupid things the "ghosts" were doing. HAHAH! totally changed it into a comedy lar. then we watched abit of "Before Sunrise" to calm ourselves down after the thriller. seriously the thriller was such a fucker because the sound effect really like auta mamak sak.

shall upload the pics asap on multiply. here are some. or maybe just 2 of them.

more than half of us turned up. and adee thought i was a guy from afar. -.- i should keep my hair once again ar. keep it long like adee's is the longest i would go. but my hair so stubborn dun wana grow how?!

btw HAPPY BELATED 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

on a random note: its soo awesome to put ice on my swollen ear. soooooooo orgasmic.

oi next week sleepover ar!!!!

they're off

2009-06-15T19:50:00.003+08:00

moments ago, i just got off the phone with my mom. and i feel like crying my eyes out right now. the scene where i hugged her after like a thousand years of not hugging her just make me cry lar. aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! i'm going crazy lar sia.

i've been crying like gazillion times today and i felt like shit the whole time. thinking again, the time will pass uberly fast as they would be back in Sg next friday as planned.

omg, as i'm writing this post, i'm crying lar! DAMN IT. i'm sucha crybaby siaaaaaaaaa. cannot take it ar!

i need everyday to be busy so that time will pass very fast. and i need to keep myself happy the whole time. feeling sad just make me feel so fucked up.

weekends have ended

2009-06-14T22:49:00.003+08:00

12 more days to the 50 days left for attachment. awesome or what! that is such a whole number to look forward to.

urgh! why am i having a bad tummyache now.

ok done taking a dump.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

now im digressing from doing my long overdued reports. ffffffffffffff. 4 reports now accumulated. urgh!

so my weekends was kinda relax lar. as per usual. weekdays already so hectic (not really) so weekends must relax. aiya. lazy to elaborate much things. i think pics shall do the talk for this post then.

friday: night out with Sha, early dinner, random stop at Cold Rock for dessert then off to shop at town.

saturday: collected specs and went to buy some stuffs on my own. a while later irm's joined me. (didn't take any pics for this day)

sunday: went to I.T fair with gay toyboy then met irm's. initially to go to the flea near Sg Flyer but we went to bugis instead. got myself some earrings. and i look like a pirate with the earrings, all i need is a patch to finish the look. btw didnt take pics with gay toyboy cause he looks tired after all.

pichas time!

Friday's

the kids we saw at BK. pretty ang moh kids.

Cold Rock ice cream. Just Got Dumped + Ferrero Indulgence. soooooo much better than B&J's.

Saturday's

oreo with chocolate cream instead and watching Alexandria (the indonesian movie). isn't she just pretty. btw i watched it halfway as my laptop crashed on me. tsk! please someone rent it or lend it to me if you have it.

playing around while bored waiting for the videos to load. exploring b&w and slow shutter. awesome-ness. my fingers look freakayeeeeee.

Sunday's

fast food for the past 4 days back to back. how am i gonna stay slim?! and gay toyboy stopped me from finishing the fries. urgh!

tired faces of a day out. 2nd pic: irm's flattered herself by saying she looked taller. -.-

outfit of the day. i know my "room" look crazy with hanging 2 clocks. one of it is not working.

friday is gonna be another date that gonna mark my ____ ____. full story at my secret hideout.

i should be asleep now. cause my eyes are hurting and tomorrow morning shall be the last day for my mom to nag at me to wake up. hais. in less than 19 hours, my parents and sister will be out of town. other people may smell freedom from this but i don't want them to leave. ever since attachment starts, they have been the people that have withstand(they have to) my shits. the only thing i wana when i reached home is my mom asking me stupid questions but for 2 weeks, i'm gonna face nothing. not even the sound of the radio being played unless i forgot to off it before i go to work. i'm freaking sad right now. i'm tearing. the thing is i'm not able to send them off either cause they would have to check in by 5pm. i also don't wana send them off cause i don't wana cry and make my mom cry. I WANA CRY ALREADY LAR!i'm such crybaby.

a happier note: the girls are coming to chill my place on weds. hope nothing will come in our way! wohohooo!

so to end this post, i shall post a picture which maybe creepy to ya.

GOODBYE! support anti-monday-blues!

week 14?

2009-06-11T00:53:00.002+08:00

how i wish 7th June could be recorded in a tape and let me replay as and when i wanted as i enjoyed being an irritant most of the time.

im b-b-b-b-b-bored right now. its close to 1am and i'm still awake, surprisingly. this is why i'm always a zombie at work. seriously i feel zombified at work. all i can do is sleep sia. during break, all i wana do is sleep cause now no more cancersticks. next week then start on my cancersticks.

i think what i should do is just let go. give up. touch and go. that's why i'm doing. i better back away before anything unwanted happen. let me get hurt right now and admire you from afar and lose this feeling sooner or later. thanks for the memories.

motherfucker!

2009-06-10T00:06:00.004+08:00

SOME FREAKING RETARD JUST STOLE MY OLD HAVAIANAS SLIPPERS WHICH I USUALLY PUT OUTSIDE. THEY ARE THE MOST COMFORTABLE PAIR OF FOOTWEAR I USUALLY WEAR.

I HOPE THAT YOUR FEET MAY ROT IN NO TIME. YOU EVEN HAD THE CHEEK TO "REPLACE" THOSE SLIPPERS WITH THOSE OF MY NEIGHBOR'S.

WAH KNNCCBFUCKYOUROWNASSHOLE AR.

THANKS AR ASSHOLE FOR MAKING MY SLEEP "PEACEFUL" BY GETTING RID OF MY OLD SLIPPERS. SERIOUSLY KARMA IS COMING YOUR WAY.

SORRY THIS POST IS IN CAPS CAUSE IM JUST TOO ANGRY BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO PUT IT INTO MUCH WORDS.

weekends was here

2009-06-08T00:29:00.002+08:00

i had the awesome-est weekend. and i hate the fact that its already monday sia. that means off to work in another few hours. so week 14 liaozxzxz, 9 more weeks to survive siol!

so my weekends started with a friday out with ma bitches. shopping without pay sia.

saturday out with SapBUIH and irmamama. penat sak carik tempat sticker tu. and i hate sweating. that's my most drama mama moments ar. sweating is actually fine, but PLUS HUNGRY. cannot tahan lar.

sunday, went out in the noon. thought of going the flea at victoria theatre but irm's malas sungguh. find some things for Dek then off to admiralty park. GEREK SIOLZXZXZ! at 1st i was lazy lar to go out on a sunday cause sunday is always a lazy day for me. eventually it turned out fun cause i was hyperactive and irritating ttm sak. seriously, i find myself such an irritant lar. luckily, i have patient friends that can stand my attitude. if not, da lamer kene campak laut sak.

pics will soon be uploaded.

on a note:

HAPPY BELATED LEGAL 18TH BIRTHDAY NUR ATIQA AKA DEK!

hehe:) gamba lawa eh. hope you like the present that Me & Irm's got for you!

those who came + Mok + Eera Darlynke. ya, i look like fisherman. thank you. and posing aku sesungguh nyer senonoh. BTW SAYANG KORG MANY2!

THANKS MOK FOR THE RIDE HOME! and sorry pasal aku irritating, suker kacau kau ngan flash! lol!

courage

2009-06-03T23:12:00.002+08:00

such a simple word yet it means something each day. it is implied to everyone in every single task for life to go on.

well, i wish i had some for something. but i don't think i'll ever get it.

you used to be on my tab every single night without fail. but now, where art thou?

le sigh. its of no use. its like he reads this.

can i kill myself now?

2009-06-01T00:38:00.002+08:00

omg. i am so dead. seriously. i'm screwed for life. i still have this freaking report. i'm only at page 9. mati lar. MAAAATIIIIIII!

i wana cry my eyes out now! i can't concentrate for nuts. i keep procrastinating by bloghopping. how am i supposed to present this shitty report to my ever demanding supervisor.

i pronounce myself dead as for now.

stay home saturday

2009-05-30T19:45:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling uber depressed cause i have a 40 pg report which i have yet to touch + 2 weekly reports to be done. hais. i feel like killing myself now.

i hate having rollercoaster ride of emotions. one moment, i'm fine. then the other, i'm feeling down as the ground. it pisses me off. its like if you wana bring me down, bring me down from the start, don't do it after i've had my share of fun.

i've been procrastinating. from chatting to napping to chatting and bloghopping. mati lar Mel, mati.

if you don't see me alive after mon, remember i love you all. and i will die a V. HAHAHAH!

awesome TGIF

2009-05-30T01:52:00.005+08:00

no matter how bad i start my morning with finding out that my ciggs, cigg case and lighter is down the rubbish chit,i ended my friday with a GREAT evening. "awesome" right(for ciggs, cigg case and lighter in the dustbin). this is when my dad suddenly gone crazy. like seriously WTF. but my mom is being a GREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT mother in the whole of my going to 19 years of living. she just comforted me after my dad called me stupid and all. urgh! f it. that's my family. no more washing of dirty laundry, later people complain(metaphorically).

awesome play with Abg Bijan in it. "aku nak, aku nak lari dari sini. aku taknak aku taknak jaga lagi orang yang aku benci." my ver.: aku nak aku nak makan. aku taknak aku taknak mati kelaparan. GOOD OR NOT MINE! HAHAH! i love that part. btw saw Najip Ali, Fiza wanted to take pic with him but he went off already. hehe. i came late for the play so kinda paiseh at 1st. managed to understand it afterall.

then off to takeaway Mac and sat outside memorial park(?). our spot was bad as its the path where people keep passing by. and we managed to crap till we forgot about the time.

pics up soon. lazy to upload it.

something random while i was bloghopping.

listen to the song. sorry its in malay. but kinda funny to me.

oh ya. i wana have 19 of this flowers on my bday please? in red plus whatever color that suits it.totally sweet of you all to get me this lor.credits to ainrette.livejournal.com(i duno her,was bloghopping lar kan).

random thought: if you miss something or someone, make an effort to join them or meet him/her. you wouldn't miss out anything much when you go back to the same place, the next time :) but i'm missing someone who is impossible for me to meet. le sigh.

OH YA WHY ISN'T ANYONE TAGGING ME AR AR AR???!!!! later i remove tagboard then you know!

1st time of not looking fwd to wkends.

2009-05-26T19:09:00.002+08:00

of my effort of not trying to procrastinate, i eventually sidetrack to google-ing Mcc Foc 09(cause fiza decided not to google it). lol! well, the response was............GREAT LAR!!!!duhhh.

so bloghopped until freshie's blog lar. then came across one who was my group member. but i don't remember who lar sia! serious. cause she don't post pics. lol. aku tol2 tak guner lar kan.

lazy to elaborate whatever happened during my weekend. maybe next time lar.

YEA! INTAN ROCKS. and i sacrifice my fave white shirt for camp lor! HONOURED OR NOT!ya. i know my face is fug here. but i enjoy camp whatever it is!

better start on my freaking report ar. i'm so hopeless.

weather

2009-05-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

OMG THE WEATHER IS KILLING ME LITERALLY.

i've been sweating since morning till now. even after i bathe, i would sweat like no tomorrow. now my clothes are wet from all these sweating. at the warehouse, me & Sha are working at level 1 of the whole place, so that means no aircon. then the morning rush made me sweat like no tomorrow sak. walked home after work, my whole body covered in sweat. like totally should be called sweatday lar.

i've already on the fan on speed 3 but i'm still sweating. i don't practise the use of aircon cause its bad for the bones. and it can be too cold later at night.

i hate sleeping with sweat all over. urgh! yuckness!

random fact: i'm listening to old school jiwang songs. totally reminiscing.

mon is kicking in.

2009-05-25T01:48:00.002+08:00

camp roxzxzxzxzorsss!!! PERIOD.

423 photos up.

i kinda regret missing the last day of camp. efffeeeeeers.

midweek once again.

2009-05-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

the weeks are buzzing past us right. another week, june is coming our way. how fast is that?! and soon attachment will end. but june is gonna be a busy month for me. i'm kinda happy that its gonna be a busy month so that july can come faster *winks*.

will you remember me when i'm gone?

what will be the things that remind you of me?

i just hope i could call you, mine.

birthday

2009-05-17T19:12:00.002+08:00

sempena hari ini bertarikh kan 17 haribulan May 2009, saya ingin mengucapkan Siti Khairiyah Affandi aka Carrie Berrie Strawberry, Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke 19!!!!

kau, peh bahasa baku sak aku pakai. HAHA!

yea. sorry no pics of carrie to post lar eh. da laaamer sungguh tk berjumpe eh kawan.

yesterday a relaxing day that start with me going to ___ to pass the freaking test. and i finally passed. wohooo! sekarang pon da bole book test date. but the test date on weekdays. perangai sak. so met up with irmamama to have our late lunch cum dinner at Mad Jack. the food not that WOW lar. just mediocre. then off to meet the others for shisha. gerek per. 3 pot dok! aku pon pening sampai 3 kali. pichas already up on multiply.no mood to go into anymore details.

so the whole sunday is spent on me glued to my chair with my laptop. finally, a day in. 6 days out of the house only going home to sleep. how pathetic.

and of course admiring my cat while she's asleep.

i have a secret.
can you keep it?

find me at my secret hideout.

what plans do i have.

2009-05-13T21:27:00.002+08:00

i have no appetite but my mom forced me to gorge on this bowl of chicken noodle. hais. seriously since yesterday i keep forcing myself to eat. i hate that feeling.

i feel so lonely. but maybe i should be alone for the time being.

i wana cycle around or just sit by the shore, listening to nature doing its course. i'm mentally tired.

its either i wana go all out having fun or just relax and chill somewhere to rejuvenate my soul.

till then. good night people.

laptop in the warehouse

2009-05-11T21:36:00.003+08:00

Sha & i brought our laptops to work. to start on our 40 pg(omfg) report. but to no avail cause we kept distracting each other by doing stupid things, as per usual. laughing at some random stuffs.

took some stupid pics with my webcam. enjoy seeing how "exciting" our workplace is. and how we really feel in that place.

we wana go back school asap. haizxzxzxzxzxzxz.

for a change.

2009-05-09T17:07:00.007+08:00

tag replies:

zhiwen: HAHAH! seriously what. you ask people update then u nver update. tsk! u really lack of motivation hor.
shahzan: ok thanks hor.
maya: maaaayaa!!i link u liaozxzzxzxz :)))))))
Fiza: its not formal wear lar. its just a formal top. haha. pakai for the fun of it. at Msia beb.ko suker sumer aju aku eh. HAHA!
E.D: OK CAN AR! korg plan ar. weekends please.

i can't believe i'm saying this but- i miss shcooooooollll.(btw that's NOT my pencil case hor)

so here i am, at my desk. staring at Mr. Lappy. looking at it making love with my fingers. ok. that sounds gross. but i'm having quality time with myself. watching some random videos. blog hopping. not much of that.

i'm hooked to South Park. how crappy that show is, it just cracks me up. but whatever it is, i fucking hate Eric Cartman. he is the most irritating cartoon character ever. more irritating that Spongebob Squarepants(which i hate too). i just hate dumb characters ok. asking for a punch in the face and a few pokes in the eyes.

as you all can see, i just changed my blogskin. cause i'm bored yesternight.

oh my. i have 2 reports to do. and i have not even start on my freaking 40 pg report. fffffffff.

i have a sore butt cause i fell at work. sad or not! every time i sit, i will cringe in pain.

oh ya. Jane was so happy having a disabled friend(which is me) cause im partially deaf in my right ear temporarily. i don't know when will i be un-deaf. i want my hearing back!

i miss dressing up. i wana wear makeup and my falsies. and wear nice dresses for the fun of it.

omg this people downstairs karaoke-ing is irritating me. mintak kene sumbat ngan mic sak.

woi geng! jom karaoke asap please. tekak da gatal nk hilang kan suara nie! please get back to me about the prices then kiter bole ajak2 yang lain. we go friday night nak?!!!!or maybe Sat night. WANT OR NOT?!

TGIF it is.

2009-05-08T20:11:00.002+08:00

my friday started with a nice cloud scenery at work. but it was a few seconds until the black clouds engulfed it. if only cammy was with me. the cloud was so welcoming as if the heaven doors is closing.

the morning was normal like any other working days until black ninja came to meet me & Sha. well, subconsciously i pissed him off. that of i'm contented for the day. like total awesomeness. even though he kinda pissed us off back, i have a mindset, nobody gonna spoil my weekends, not even my mother. yes. my mother is being a _____ the whole week. 85% of the week, she's the main contributor to my grouchy side.

the weekends is here but i have no plans on any of the days. good aye? well, i'm free for anyone to ask me out. don't tag on tagboard hor. gueh tk layan nyer. HAHAH! so do msg or call to join ya for some fun times alright.

back to my boring attachment days, but i just wana share the experience lar hor.

co workers are crazy. but they are lethargic due to excess scoldings and workload they have to do. they were forced to work till late today cause tomorrow is Vesak Day so its an off day for them(finally). some of them been working non stop daily since last saturday. well, we do have fun in midst of work. disturbing and laughing at stupid things they do. and most of them are really wild ttm lar. that scared the shit outta me at 1st. but i'm with that cause the only contact and time i make is during work. i don't think i would recognize them outside.

the place is kinda too dusty so i rarely wear makeup and don't give a shit about how i looked at work. like who the hell i wana dress up for right.

i think i don't wana bore anyone any further.

mon always the hardest.

2009-05-04T23:41:00.001+08:00

thank God(NOT!), i'm still alive.

i have the song Baby When the Light by David Guetta on repeat on Youtube.

i feel so dead. why is my heart still beating?

VANAKAM!

2009-05-02T19:13:00.004+08:00

im off to Mustafa Centre in an hour's time. i suggested going there yesternight so they decided to go today instead cause my mamemo too tired yesterday.

i don't know what i will get there later. maybe a watch hor.

i'm so lazy to bathe lor. aiya. i smell so fragrant also later their smell will mask my whole nice smell. so i rather camouflage with them lar. burok sak perangai Mel. hahaha.

finally i'm going further away from ___ for this weekend.

i have the song Feel Good Drag by Anberlin replaying in my iTunes. awesomeeeee-est rock song ever. TTR2 made me addicted to that song!

on a note: i have 3 pending reports to be done by end of this week. damn it. i don't know what to report on lar! freaking hell. helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

btw LETS GO KARAOKE LEH!!!!lets create tremors all over singapore. i needa have fun!

its the 1st anniversary!

2009-05-01T15:20:00.002+08:00

i have long weekend. amazingly, i have no plans whatsoever on any of the days.

maybe i do. Sat off to ___ to freaking do the evaluation. pfft!

sunday, irm's asked me to join her at her store. still pending.

today? NOTHING. exactly nothing. i didnt join my aunt earlier today cause its just too early. come on, its a holiday. wake up late lar.

so anyone wana ask me out? just text me or call me up anytime of the day. before 7pm please. later than that, higher possibility of laziness kicking in.

supposedly. (again?)

2009-04-29T20:15:00.004+08:00

caution: fragile. very. may come with sudden outburst of emotions.

what's the use?

2009-04-29T00:12:00.004+08:00

watched 17 again and i'm swooned by Zac Efron. i think me & Jane are the noisiest ever in the theatre. haha! but i just don't like the female lead is fug. urgh! hate her voice. she looks like a paedo with Zac.

i'm getting a hold of attachment. not fairly well of course. people are being shifted around. and i don't mind me being shifted(again). like where else can i be shifted right. on top of that, LO is coming to work tomorrow. f it. its redundant. he's the most useless lecturer i ever got. i feel like killing myself now.

i don't know what's up with people thinking i'm not MALAY for having MeL as my name. don't need to be fucking racist lar sak. i got numerous responses when people asked for my name over the phone. and the most lamest joke being joked over the phone is "do you have any connections with Mel Gibson?". omg, i could literally shoot myself in the head with that question. i feel like answeing "ya, my name is actually Mel SaysFuckYou". i did not get that "joke" once, not twice BUT THRICE. and when i told my friends about that "joke", they were like asking who the hell is Mel Gibson. HAHAHAHAHHA! he's a very very old actor lar.

that's Mel Gibson ok!

today workplace is kinda happy? well, its time to get used then i would be shifted, once again. like duhh. and i felt that i had made the hugest mistake by doing something. damn! help me? got some bonding time with pakcik2. oh ya, "father figure" gonna be gone in another few days or weeks lar. me is kinda sad. but he feel more sad cause he don't even know where he will be shifted. fucked up company.

oh dear, i miss my bitches already. huhu~

how random is it, my eye is swollen now. and i'm disturbed by this lump covering my view. pfft!

wow. that's a breeze.

2009-04-27T23:18:00.002+08:00

my eyes are really stinging now. i think i should get some sleep.

i hate myself now. i have such low span of energy right now. short attention span. i feel damn empty right now.

i feel like eating. but my mind is in sleepy mode. i only had a plate of kungpow chicken rice from Pines just now which lasted me till now. i'm not used to having "people" in school now. i feel so foreign.

alot of thoughts running in my mind. but one keeps popping, "when is it gonna be mine?"

how i wish this could last.

2009-04-26T19:33:00.002+08:00

for whoever that miss looking at my irritating face.

tag replies:

-sapp: haha. mesti lar kekal selamer nyer. aru ko tau dier ade calon. tsk3.
-yanti: tell me about it :(
-E.D: hahaha. bole bole. tapi ko bole tahan ker?
-kak dee: oh okay. you got my number and i got urs. hehe.
-jane: u damn slooooooooow sia.ya lar! it looks so fucking CHINA sia. tsk! hahaha. the color n all.
-Fiza: hais. yes im so bz. trying to catch up with life lor. sure dins somewhere then you can tell me stories. talk talk talk. i miss school alot. and im trying real hard to survive in attachment. *bluetooth hugs back*
-amz: haha. walk walk shopping shopping liao. but still unhappy. cause pay so late n so little.
-atiqa: its ok beb. i feel sad for myself also. i try to make myself free on ur bday beb.

my mom can be soooo infuriating at times. she kept complaining how she have yet to get her $20+++ refund from her old ezlink card. then i would totally answer, "THINK SO EZ GET GOVERMENT MONEY MEH!i think they would only give 10 cents after a gazillion years w/o a reason lor." luckily she never scold me back cause she know she's at fault. pfft!

Singapore totally sucks. its sooo fucking expensive to even have the lights on the whole day. how i wish i could move out of Singapore, but i don't see myself moving out in future. seriously, i don't think i'm gonna marry a rich ass guy. i'm being realistic lar hor. even though its no harm dreaming of moving out of Singapore. i would be waiting on my husband everyday. i'm not gonna work. maybe work from home lar. then pursue my passion for photography. sidetrack: i can get so angry, not reaching my utmost potential. i know i can take better photos for BR's gig.

back to moving out of Singapore. having more places to explore. more places to shop. much more nicer clothes that i COULD fit. Singapore just have fucking small clothes for those ah lians. and fucking ugly clothes are ceased to exist. urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if anyone gonna despise me for this post, whatever to you lar. this is my blog. and im being hate for having an opinion? go fuck off lar. criticise someone else's blog. how about criticise those blog who show PDA(if you know what that is)?

mother mother, you should know life more than i do. tsk! why am i like the only living person thinking here?!

another thing i wana criticise lar. if you felt that this is a personal attack to you, don't perasan hor. im just voicing out what i wana say all along.

having cliques is fine by me. but when it comes to creating a ripple effect where the bonding among a huge group of the clique and many others were affected. we are a huge family. i don't deny, i myself have my own group of friends. but when it comes to a bonding session among everyone, i try my best to accomodate to everyone's need. on the other hand, if you start showing attitude (aka prangai kebabian), saper mau layan sak. whatever it is, know your priorities and for once, think out of the box. see the whole picture, instead of a particular spot you like. if you don't like the whole picture, don't turn your mind off immediately. just try to like it. keyword here is TRY. you may not know the results.

cheeeeeeeey, aku bobal macam paham sak. this is such a redundant post hor. i don't mind you all don't read cause i myself tired of typing all this crap.

let me add on where i wana go and do.
Island Creamery
Cycling
Chalet
Hortpark or even Henderson Waves

wow. they have Cs in it.

i want weekends to stay. tomorrow is Monday. oh dear me. wednesday, LO is fucking coming for a visit. whatever for?! i don't see the point. it won't change anything for once.

if anyone want me to rant about attachment, i can do it all day. and i would end up getting angry. its only gonna be week 8. how many weeks left? 16? i know i shouldn't countdown but me wants to end this asap.

i miss watching movies in the school library.
i miss bringing my backpack to school.
i miss buying snacks in the mid of classes.
i miss sneaking out of classes.
i miss deciding on where to have lunch.(ok maybe not)
i miss smoking in front of clubhouse. (oopps?)
i miss bumping into familiar faces.
in all, i miss everything about school.

i can't wait to graduate, but another side of me not wanting to leave school.

yes. its better to look at the brighter side of life. what bright side there is to this attachment? experience? well, a bad one that is.

i have yet to have a proper meal today. i had 3 pieces of french toast with 5 pieces of fries. HAHAH! i could even count how many pieces of fries sak. after a while, i had that ice cream. totally orgasmic ttm. but it melted so fast. oh my, what a weather to eat ice cream!

my hair was fucking oily

2009-04-26T03:08:00.002+08:00

"you know why Singapore have low crime rates? bcos i'm the superhero."

that totally crack me up like hell. apsal lar ramai org perasaan superhero nie.

photos are in, but i'm too lazy to blog about them.

i have alot things to do. i have alot of places to go. i have alot of things that i want. let me repeat to myself, things that i WANT, not NEED.

what i need now is sleep. this post is purely out of randomness. of a 3am post.

of all places i wana go,
Marina Barrage(mcm da basi sak),
Sentosa,
Punggol,
NACC,
many more and upcoming.

mind the language used here. sorry if got spelling or grammatical errors. too sleepy but still wana blog ar.

sleeping with the technology?

comment about this pic. need some advice on it.

this is just too wrong.

2009-04-23T18:36:00.002+08:00

However long the night, the dawn will break.
-African Proverb

this is just so depressing. everything in my life is not going very well. i'm seriously hanging by a thread now. this thin thread.

i can't wait to die. i want all this sorrow to end. that's all. this is just too depressing. i can't take it.

will be away for some time. if there is any updates, it will be at the other side.

i don't know what could cheer me up now. i don't think my friends could do anything too.

what should i name it?

2009-04-20T23:47:00.003+08:00

today kinda sucked. early in the morning, got "scolded". like i give a fuck about it? with that attitude of yours, i'm becoming more racist than ever. maybe someday, i will get rashes or spasms if i got near any of you. seriously. they are totally the people whom we time and again used for a racist joke. now, i feel that you deserve it.

i wasn't feeling my best at work cause i seriously felt used(what's new). its not that i didn't try to get use to attachment, but with this kinda environment. i got tired of adapting. you think we full time chameleon meh. chameleon also stay when they feel comfortable right. tomorrow i'm gonna call my LO due to this f up thing happening. its not about the transfer but till now, i have not got any project. and when i asked for it, guess what my manager said. "I also don't know what to give you". bloody fucked up right.

today, i bought a box of cancersticks which i didn't try before. after all, it all taste the same. but what totally crack me up is the brand. BREAK. lol. after 1.5 days of not having it at the tip of my lips, kinda made me feel stressed up. well, i think it gonna last me for 1 week, yet again.

wohoho~ i'm downloading a whole load of "books" into Isaac now. maybe i shall give it another name next time.

nothing gonna spoil my day today.

2009-04-18T02:06:00.002+08:00

i just hope i keep that title in mind to shoo away my bad moodiness. seriously. please.

i'm very vexed over the choice of my photos. i need some enlightenment.

now my hair sucks! urgh! i want long hair. then i can rebond or do whatever shits to it.

2009-04-17T16:31:00.002+08:00

i told Jane about the randomness of the veins on my right hand like popping out(you get what i mean lar). and i start to press on it and trace them. HAHAHAH! and Jane's reaction was kinda funny. she totally said its gross and saying im a perv all that.

i just love pressing(not too hard) those veins and tracing them especially on guys' arms. wooo. like manly like that. HAHAHA!

well, i'm weird like that.

oh ya. please someone do enlighten me why is there someone who advert VIBRATORS on my tagboard. do my blog look that desperate for some sexual pleasure? gosh. what is my tagboard becoming!do i sound that liberal?

erms, how should i reply the tags?

adee: hehe. shush. don't tell where i got that vest hor. you know, i know lar eh. ok lets open a singles club then invite all the single guys to come party with us. membership baper lamer ar? lol! n i duno y that blogshop advert on my blog ok!
sap: pasal mater aku, this is what u call makeup! HAHAH!kau miss aku tapi tk dtg training. sek blurp blurp jer.
amz: i duno where Haji gone to. mungkin dier naik haji kot. ok lame mel. HAHA!
kiki:HAHAHHAH!aku aru tgk citer ape dinosaur tales or what ar. abe ade budak spanish nie. abe nyanyi lagu spanish. me like the language.
E.D: lol. aku tau ko raser ape aku rase. HAHAH!
Shahila: HAHAH! ya lar. u sound lesbo sia. but its ok. i always miss entertaining ourselves. i always have to entertain myself at work. and look like an idiot laughing at myself.
yanti: haha. ko maseh single eh eh eh. tapi da ade calon. tinggal nk pilih date jer kan kan kan. HAHHA!
farahNP:i dunoooo!!!dun ask me. not interested in getting one. too naive to get one! HAHAH!

supposedly.

2009-04-16T20:29:00.002+08:00

i feel worthless and unrespected(is there such a word?).

omg. this hatred is growing.

2009-04-13T22:07:00.003+08:00

the fave girls are gonna be out basking in the sun(if there is) at Sentosa on wednesday. then meeting me for dins after that.

i am so hating attachment as its taking my whole life away. my freaking HAPPY life. i didn't know i was that happy till now. omg. i feel like slashing my throat or slit my wrists now.

why am i feeling like i'm the only single woman alive right now. i know, i know. same old line: not the time yet. fuck time. fuck everything that is not right at this point of time.

i feel like getting wasted right now. i seriously feel there's meaning to live. NOTHING. i wana feel high and laugh my night away. kill this sadness within me. and let it die.

me hearts you.

2009-04-12T16:59:00.003+08:00

i enjoyed my long weekend in Singapore. at least i got to spend time with my family and friends.

thursday night was awesome with A and I. one thing we sure liked that day is walking around Sungei Rd is fantabulous. and they surely ended my thursday just fine as it is.

Friday wasn't that good earlier that day. with my aunt being irritating with me. and i eventually irritated her back with my ego-sungguh-overwhelming attitude.

sorry, was vacuuming and watching Law & Order SVU. i'm seriously addicted to that series. wohoho! awesome-est ever.

so back to my long weekend.

Saturday out with mamak jual mi goreng. aku tau name tk glam. lol. khas untuk anda. shopped for my stuffs. then off to window shopping. Irma wasn't in the mood to shop. she was pissed off with one of the employee working at Cotton On. he was macam paham lar kan. male bitch.

Sunday. sat my ass at home to prepare myself for the coming depressing week. i must be optimistic. but me is not ready for working life. for this mundane daily working life. nevermind. tuesday night with the Adiratna for pizza and k nite. wednesday night with the fave girls for dinner, maybe? thursday night, you-know-what. friday ain't sure. saturday gonna meet the guys for their 1st ever(supposedly?) gig. sunday out with the F. wow. that's a hectic week isn't it. its just the weekDAYS are so boring. please someone be my entertainer at work. please, pweetty pleaseeee!

visuals for u visual people.

waiting for my fave series to load with the awesome-est magazine in town. excuse the messy table. was just back from grocery shopping with the fam. i would so totally set a rule in my family(future) that once a month, there's a family outing of just grocery shopping. just totally plain having fun to decide on what item to shop for. and getting those i-can-afford-but-not-worth-it buys.

mamak's 1st time at the Nasi Ayam penyet shop. haha. she's shocked at how small the rice serving is. tsk3.

shopping of the day. cotton on was having sale. but not so that GRAND laaaar. see my fat cat "fighting" with my bag strap.

i'm clearly confused.
with life.
and other miscellaneous stuffs in my life,
as always.

da da da da da~
please~~~ don't leave me
please~~~ don't leave me
i always say how i don't need you.
but it always gonna come back right at me.

is my menses coming any sooner?

2009-04-09T12:35:00.002+08:00

the other side is giving problems. if not, i would have blogged there. cause i don't wana bore my readers with my depressing posts.

its lunch time now. i nearly cried just now. i know tomorrow is a holiday and all but i'm feeling down now. i have no appetite now. i'm just eating the puff that i brought from home. i think i know why i'm feeling down. i left home with my mom nagging at me. hais.

i just hope the outing later with Irmamama gonna make my whole day fine.

btw i dressed up to work and i'm not feeling all happy about it.

i missed the transport just now. it just whizzed past the bus i'm in. so i burnt 10 bucks to reach work.

i just hope for a personal transport to work. but its just a dream that may never come true.

all i wana do now is lepak with the pakciks at my workplace. they are like so gerek lar. they can entertain me and all. well, i find them amusingly tak sedar diri lar. HAHAH! im smiling to myself thinking about them. lol. see, i'm growing to like them already. i don't want.

its a good friday week.

2009-04-08T21:18:00.002+08:00

these blisters on my fingers are so not worth it. seriously not. i'm feeling the regret engulfing me.

its just tuesday.

2009-04-07T10:23:00.003+08:00

guess what, i'm updating at work. and i'm not sleepy today as i had the most deepest sleep ever. i dozed off at 9pm yesternight.

damn bored now.

done with bloghopping.

i didn't know i am this disappointed. seriously. i'm having the loser blues now. i think cause i know we didn't do our best.

but congrats to Padu-ke. lol. u're gonna thrive soon enough. Adiratna making way for all of you. we sure gonna give our outmost support in the future.

i'm clicking well with my colleagues, minus the politics lar. i'm getting close with this uncle and i got to look around the yard with his help. awesome, i tell you. i just hope this whole experience is a good one at least. the colleagues even suggested me to continue working here. i am sooo not gonna waste my young days here. today my buddy didn't report for work. hais. no bitch partner today.

we didnt make it.

2009-04-06T01:27:00.000+08:00

now, i don't find those pleasure things in life that pleasure-able.

breaking down soon

2009-04-04T23:22:00.004+08:00

in less than 14 hours, all our sweat and tears would be the over with just this 11 minutes performance.

to everyone performing, i really feel disappointed with this attitude that you all are going for this open competition.i know im in no position to advise anyone anything, but as a member that is performing alongside you, i find it useless if you're performing just because u paid the registration fee and whatnots. if you are forcing yourself to perform, i shall tell you its just a waste of your effort, and if we got into the semis, YOU DON'T BLOODY DESERVE IT.

i know i used to be the one who opposed on going for this competition but now i feel the spirit growing in me to go to the next level. if we got into the next level, more trainings weekly. yes, its draining our personalities away. but isn't that what we wanted from joining this cca? you're talking about passion? don't you even know the meaning of that word?

biler tkde competition, satu-satu complain mendak. sekarang da bagi, satu-satu perangai macam sial. buat muka lar. ada yang degil ar(nie aku ngaku that i'm one of them ar), ada yang nk balek cepat lar dan sebagai nyer. hari-hari pep talk, semua masok telinga kiri, kluar telinga kanan. ape guner nyer gituk.

whatever it is, its up to yourself. you're the one performing, not the instructors, not your family but yourself. we could motivate you to go for it, but you that is doing the work.

i know i sound so semangat but i don't wana to see us fail that miserably in the world of dikir barat.

siapa jugak yang akan malu kalau besok kiter perform mcm taik. bukan ajer name Adiratna yg kene, tapi diri sendiri terbabit. remember that.

deep inside, secretly(not anymore) i was wishing he would wish me good luck. but that was wishful thinking after all. goodluck to myself and everyone else too.

thanks mamemo for being moody with me. i'm the one with the PMS here. f lar. mamemo sooo not helping lar.

//edited

i ought to be asleep now but i felt i forgot to mention something in this post.

i found out that my heart is getting real numb to all this. that when it broke, it didnt crack at all. it just freezes in motion. leaving a picture that speaks a tale.

i miss alot on photography as attachment is going on. i wana explore this great world of photography.

sorry guys, but i felt an obligation of going to the gig you're having. i don't know why. i can't find the answer.

its only the 4th week?!

2009-04-02T21:13:00.003+08:00

its gonna be TGIF. and i badly need some retail therapy. or maybe some lepak session outside the comfort of home or school. i've been to work, school, ___ then home-d. everyone's tired. everyone's getting sick. and im part of everyone.

in a wink, attachment has already passed its 1st month. yay! 5 more months. wow. that sounds alot. hais.

weird happenings at work. well, not really. more like funny to me.

finally i'm back home early today. straight home after work. please time pass abit more faster. i can't stand this torturous period.

dear 2 regular chatters....

complete the sentence yourselves. is it only me thinking too far or is there something i should know? well, whatever it is, i really cherish the friendship we had. ego satu2 maha besar. so ape mau bikin kan.

its gonna be friday, i feel like dressing up. but i'm not going out. sunday. its THE day. and i'm thinking of it as a performance. nothing biggie. well, i'm just part of the percussion. a trivial part.

PS: I HAD THE AWESOME-EST COOKIE EVER IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD!its Geneva from Pepperidge Farm. ITS WAAAAAY BETTER THAN ANY OTHER COOKIES. pricey too. i can't think any other better cookie than this. other than chipsmore with nuts. cooookkkkkiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee.

on a note: i'm walking around the house with heels to just cheer myself up.

its midweek once again.

2009-04-02T00:09:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling very low right now. ya. start being sarcastic about it. i feel my life has no meaning now.

after a week of trying to fit in the new place, my LO called and asked about how is it. and i start tearing due to being too angry. i'm not sad anymore, but more to just upholding justice (mcm paham). i hate being used at anyone's dispense. whatever it is, i've resigned myself to this fate.

then another problem arised at the end of the day, instructor(not DK) was being fierce. maybe you had a bad day, but come on, i spend less than 7 hrs at home. this is really getting to me.

if you see my face in the Berita Harian obituary, please cut and frame it up so as to remind yourselves that this girl died due to a fucked up attachment.

i thought i could lose weight by eating so little at work, but it didnt work cause i would end up eating late at night due to reaching home late.

i feel like giving up. thanks for the help, friends. but sorry, i just wana find my own direction now.

its monday once again.

2009-03-29T23:26:00.003+08:00

2 weeks is fast lar. D & F is gonna be back within this week. how fast is that sia.

i'm feeling lethargic. i'm so tempted to eat that sleeping pill.

20 weeks isn't short. can it just be 2 weeks. majority hates attachment. hais :( i've never felt this trapped. even my parents have given me much freedom that i need.

i know i should stop complaining about attachment. but it seriously sucks as it is. i'm gonna change into a zombie now.

what's the gist just now. brunch-ed at Pastamania. treat by dear Aunt. then met irm's. we(the usuals) sent Ami who is going India for 2 weeks off at Changi Airport. then Pop-eye's after that. we were famished by then. ok the day went on quite average. then after eating, i wanted sooooo much that someone push me around with that luggage trolley. awesome-est ever. i know i'm as heavy as a luggage lar. hahah!

i miss my fake eyelashes now. huhu~ mel nie macam2 lar. miss here and there.

have yet to do weekly report. f ar. what to report sia. i fucking hate this period of my life. like seriously.

i'm clad in all guys' stuffs today. seriously.

who wana really really dress up going out? i feel like wearing my heels and eyelashes. dress up like no tomorrow.
ok bye.

its already the end of the week.

2009-03-29T03:15:00.004+08:00

i blown myself away with the heels i got at Anchorpoint. awesome-est ever. i know its not practical at all. but i just love those heels. me love them. me loooooooooooooove them. i've always been a heels lover. since the age of 5? i would wear them around the house with those clattering oversize heels of my mom's. i just love heels of different shapes n heights. i just love killer heels but my feet can't sustain this fat person.

i should be asleep now. but i'm feeling a teeny tiny bit sleepy only. ok my eyelids getting heavy liao.

i hate myself at times for taking ugly pictures.

me misses everyone. (oh so cliche *flips hair*)

goodbye & goodnight, love.

i want me photos.

2009-03-28T02:07:00.005+08:00

photography outing failed. well, its ok. i didn't expect much too. saw a flea bazaar outside SAM. not in the mood to shop. i have no mood to live another day lor. i can't wait for this nightmare to end. i know it would be your first time hearing someone suffering in his/her attachment.sorry cause im boring today. or maybe some other days too.

i miss hanging out in big groups. having fun, talking and laughing like we are in our own world.

i just love having alot of noise around me but i choose what i wana listen.

i'm having a sudden sore throat. ouch. its hard for me to just gulp down my saliva. i think this is caused by that durian. yummehz.

i need my dose of cancersticks.

most of all, i miss school. how's that?

2nd update

2009-03-26T20:09:00.002+08:00

i need my life back.

while talking to Sha, we talked about how we miss our previous workplace. JAWS seriously know how to make us suffer. and that's the name of our fucking SENIOR manager. i think that name suits him as his teeth really need some fixing dude. i fucking hate him whatever it is.

i miss cik aziz, cik ali, raja and ah peng. someone's stares too. i am soo gonna buy them gifts if we are coming back to that place to WORK. can't hug them, so buy them gifts lor.

after bloghopping, i think i'm gonna miss most of the MCC grads. they are the ones who really can crack people up with their crazy antics.

i'm missing alot of people. seriously.

on mc.f that female doctor.

2009-03-26T14:43:00.002+08:00

i just don't understand why is the polyclinic soo bloody cold!like why in the world sick people have to face strong air conditioned places. whatever it is, i am facing abit of depression right now. i hate attachment to the core. and i hate that doctor, i don't need your bloody lecture lar. just freaking give me MC. idiot. say that's working life bla bla bla. I KNOW LAR. i just hate my attachment, i cry in front of you, then you know!

guess what, i only paid $1.40(med) + $9.20(registration fee). WTH RIGHT. 2 tablets for only freaking $1.40. nasi ayam pon tak lepas sak.

//sidetrack: i wana have a brownie cake for my bday! HAHAH! kau, bday aku agi lamer sey.

attachment sucks!

2009-03-23T21:00:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 19TH BDAAAAAY NUR HIDAYAH AZIZ!!!! da besar panjang anak mak. biler nk buat majlis kahwin ngan ahmad ar ar ar? HAHA.

so to the both of them(dayah & fiqa;girl on the left), HAVE FUN IN HONGKONG!!! 2 weeks only. confirm very fast one. jangan bawak hongkie feet balek eh. and jangan luper bawak balek buah tangan eh. aku tknk keychain tu sumer. nk bende2 yang practical hor! HAHH! memilih sak mel.

alright attachment is making me damn depressed. cause its making me lagging behind in my _____. i'm sad lor. farah have hers in june. how FUN!!!

the "new" year

2009-03-22T01:55:00.002+08:00

alot of laughters all around for yesterday. and of course alot more pictures too. poor cammy.

AGM WAS A BLAST! wohohooo~ programmers you all did well!!!!! congrats wor~
& the main comm is such a mix. awesome!

pictures soon to be uploaded.

what is your definition of friend?

2009-03-21T00:16:00.002+08:00

in my going on to 19 years of life, i have never regretted knowing anyone till today at this point of time, i seriously regretted knowing someone. i am not gonna mention any names.

i'm having a real heartache. literally painful. while i was reading someone's post, i felt that stab. my heart beats faster and i started to breathe heavily.i know its not because of ciggs. but i kept telling myself i need to think rationally. why am i getting all hurt over this. cause I DO CARE. but too late "friend", you've gone too far this time. its not that i didn't try to be who i was, but i am not someone who easily gives in without any positive reactions from the other party. so i stopped trying.

why i am being ignorant?

reasons:

I AM NOT A 2-FACED BITCH.
i am being myself. face the music.
i don't see a point of trying to fix things. you wanted to be out, there you go. i'm happier with life now.

don't ever put words in my mouth. if you ever do, THAT IS FUCKING CHILDISH. u don't have the balls to admit to whatever you said? go cut ur dick lar. den put in ur mouth, maybe that would improve your speech right?

whatever you wana tag, go ahead. who eat the tobasco chili, feel the spicyness right. who ask you put tobasco chili! HAHHA!

for now, i will only "collect" my favourite people, keep them close and never ever do childish stuffs like this. i am mature like that.

//update

AGM is nearing. in another few hours. i'm scared that im gonna overdress. seriously.

a sneak peek?

midweek

2009-03-17T23:23:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling real down now. i hate it when i have tuesdays blues. like @#$@#%$^#%^#$%.

how i wish i have the power that i could look into the future. i wana see if its gonna be a good or bad one. if its good, den i shall continue living. if its bad, i wana kill myself right now. all this pressure is killing me. KILLING ME w/o me realising.

i know i sound emo but ATTACHMENT made me like this. even i was thinking of killing people the whole time at work. how "fun" isn't it.

my fave girls are out on a chalet for these few days. i'm spiritually there people. i wana have fun but now fun is self made with just what i got at "work".

i want more weekends.

on a note: GUESS WHAT I GOT FROM SOMEONE! huhu~ kinda happy & thankful about that. that's what i would say "buying my love".

day 3. ignorance is bliss.

2009-03-11T21:44:00.002+08:00

i'm just done watching a chick flick.

i want:

to have fish & chips. cheap ones. SINGAPORE SUCKS.
go out and have fun.
RESULTS!

i think by the end of the 100+++ days, i will be a zombie. i shall guarantee u that.

i'm already losing my sense of humour. HA-HA.

i miss my friends. huhu~

dear cammy,

2009-03-10T19:10:00.002+08:00

i am a bubble. waiting to burst anytime soon.

i miss taking beautiful pictures. how sad did my life become? its only day 2. another 165 days.

friend? who, me?

2009-03-07T22:53:00.002+08:00

i miss you too.
but i'm sorry cause we ain't never gonna be the same.
face the fact. stop being f ego. see yourself in the mirror.
and stop your mind from being all self centered.
for once, don't EVER think that the world is revolving around you.
it has NEVER been.

i'm not being self denial. yes. all this is pointing STRAIGHT IN YOUR FACE. i am not gonna deny that this is not pointing to whoever. don't ever make me do it.

i miss my cousin terribly. i'm crying buckets now.

countdown?

2009-03-07T15:47:00.004+08:00

waking up at 3 in the noon. smoking 2 ciggs after that made me not hungry at all. im forcing myself to eat these few days. my appetite is bad. i know its kinda good in a way. so that i can lose weight n all. but its unhealthy though. well, i think i should just keep up with my no appetite self.

been going out. not alot lar. just plain hanging out before i start my bloody attachment. (what shall i wear?) i know i've been complaining about attachment is here bla bla bla. sorry but that's all on my mind now. i hate having a routined life. u'll see less of me now. i just hope work is gonna be fun. how am i gonna survive the whole damn thing for 6 months?! if i'm pregnant at that rate, i could give birth to a premature baby sia!

ok MeL shall stop complaining.

not much pichas taken during all the outings. cause i wasn't in the mood and stuffs.

WHO WANA GO OUT WITH ME AND CAMMY?! i miss using cammy.

that's how i ended my friday with.

and now im confused.

in another few days.

2009-03-03T23:37:00.002+08:00

i have so much to update. and of course my life is ever interesting and exciting for NOW(prasan mau lebih). but starting next week, life is gonna be mundane and sooo routine. cause ATTACHMENT is here. how fast do time fly, i'm already in my 3rd year in poly.

what should i update?

club scene at RSVP?
dikir comp on last sun?
btw i am so gonna flunk exams. hais. hopeless

alot of things are happening in life. but i'm just too lazy and tired. i still have not enough sleep since last friday. and of course friends conflicts never ever ends in this life. that just spice up your life and made you think that life isn't that simple like ABC or 123(this can be difficult utk org cacat ar). as per usual, i am broke as ever. i don't shop as much as i used to. all now i aim in life is to enjoy every moment of it and get slim asap. cause i hate seeing myself in the mirror. like this ever works.

i wanted so much to share my happiness with everyone. but i just lost the vibe here. i can feel that my blog is oh so dead.

PBP '09 is a great experience for me. it just made me feel how a real team felt. how much i felt like backing out at the last minute is so ridiculous. luckily i was feeling hyper that day with just a hour of sleep. i felt proud cause no matter what the result is, deep inside we are winners. i didn't feel like a sore loser when the team didn't win anything or even when the marakas player(ehem ehem) have to downgrade on sitting on the stage with no platform or anything. i felt happy performing. i don't feel its a competition. even though i look damn fug dat day. what's important is, we are happy.

AGM is nearing. another dk comp is coming. life is gonna go on double triple or whatever amount pace now cause time is seriously hard to catch up with. i'm exhausted.

watched My Bloody Valentine in 3D. the 3D-ness is awesome. but show kinda made me sleepy. i was already sleepy lar. bumped into my dear cousin. I MISS HIM LIKE TONS LAR. gaah!!

i think that's all?

PS: i miss you alot. and badly.

exams fever.

2009-02-24T01:18:00.002+08:00

i think i'm gonna have a fever now. pfft!

that's part of my Weekends. shall update more some other time. my blog is dead here. but not at the other side cause too private for the public to read. later will start the tag war again.

i shall ignore all tags now cause i don't see the need to reply to adverts.

so random.

2009-02-20T02:35:00.002+08:00

suddenly, i miss my hair. my irritating medium length hair. like ALOT. where my Dora terserlah lar gitukan. how contradicting can i be. i wana have one more haircut before letting it grow like a forest.

ok i shall go sleep now so that i can wake up later.

should start mugging

2009-02-17T16:13:00.003+08:00

i woke up to an empty house. huhu~ mom out with her friends. i hungry ar. shall find food later. irm asked if i wanted to study with her but i only woke up to her msg at like 3 pm. we were supposed to meet at 1pm at dhoby ghaut. i kinda feel useless sleeping soo much. kinda guilty cause im supposed to be studying. i have yet to start on any module except purchasing which is like not counted. pfft!

birthdays

2009-02-17T02:18:00.003+08:00

yea wokey. before i forget, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all these awesome sec school classmates of mine. i nearly forgot lar. heheh :)

Junjie (belated birthday, like u read my blog lor, nvm thought that counts) 15 feb.
Yeeting (advance, scared forget) 18 feb.
Zhiwen (advance, this one already hint at FB liao. tsk!) 24 feb.

the rest go wish urself lar. i don't bother to know lar hor. hahaha. no lar. just kidding. relax. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL FEB BABIES!

ok bye.

no monday blues.

2009-02-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

so today was all fine and hazy. the haze is making everyone feel warm. it would also unexpectedly rain. weird weather.

tried to study at irm's house but it was kinda pointless for me as i was kinda disturbing them and i only gave up after a few minutes staring at my notes. like BLEAH. come on, its purchasing sia. why we need to study that. pointless.

let me update about what happened last friday. btw pics already uploaded on multiply. me, Sha and Jane decided to go out and have our last day of fun before really retiring to mug our heads off. so i suggested on National Museum. the place is nice. but hate the lighting there. damn bloody dark and we were to scared to enter the exhibition room. LIKE SERIOUSLY NO LIGHTS! how to take picture?! u tell me lor. sumore got sign say no flash! WTH. soooo not encouraging photography. pfft! but i used flash at some points too. we entered 4 exhibitions: Fashion, Film, Food and Fotography(nearly all starts with F). haha. ya. i think we had fun at like film? cause we got to watch old malay movies. those Orang Minyak, Ibu Mertuaku and so on so forth. first time for Jane to watch it but Sha having fun dancing to the old movies. old film cases and gramophones. when we reached the chinese part, i felt like i was in China, cause they hang the clothes the same way as i saw in China. and the place was kinda creepy. well, museum mah, sure gotta be eerie at times. and we were visiting that showcase before Magrib.

ok pichas time.

the outdoor.

fashion department. boooring. nothing much to touch.

film department. fun. 1. A.R Tompel impersonation, the posters are soo brightly painted. 2. that's the viewing theatre. 3.ibu mertuaku beeeb. 4&5. old school pictures. that's what i call beauties yo.

food department. bleah. nothing much.

feeling2 model.

fotography. interesting.

interior.

exterior. looks like "gotham city". haha.

then off to Starbucks. chilled there. there was this guy who kept staring at our side. he even peeked out of the corner sia. WTF. we know your gf not as hot as us lar. but do it discreetly can.

and we saw ah bengs n ah lians holding bouquets flowers. what a sore.

you know, museums aren't that boring. with the right company you will have loads of fun there. i don't mind going there again.

PS: congrats to ya. rides soon?
PPS: next update about my family gathering. maybe a pic of me in tudung? or maybe not.

i ended the week fairly well.

2009-02-15T18:54:00.001+08:00

i'm one super uber duper happy kid right now. cause my baby has grown bigger. it has put on alot of weight man. but whatever it is, i love you~~~ nothing can tear us apart.